Milton Bradley Arrested...Again

Milton Bradley was arrested again, this time for swinging a baseball bat at his wife. According to reports, Bradley swung and missed twice and then took the third one looking. He was promptly ejected. Somewhere, Paul Sullivan is cackling and rolling a blunt...

ClockWise - Volume 1

In honor of Jim Hendry’s firing on Friday, in conjunction with attending my first and only Cub game of the season on Saturday, I feel like BLT needs an article. Maybe witnessing a Cubs shutout victory has me on a high. Maybe I’m just high.

The inspiration for this column’s name, StreetWise, is an awful weekly publication about Chicago that absolutely nobody reads. I intend to replicate all of that from a sports perspective, the only question being the weekly part. So yeah, if the homeless use this article to wipe their asses, I'll consider it a success. Say it with me: Hoo-Frickin’-Ray!

Cubs Minutes

• As mentioned above, and celebrated across the globe, Jim Hendry has finally been canned. It seems right to make this the first thing to comment on. What a glorious day it was, as good as Cutler Day, running around the office announcing the news to anyone in earshot. It’s so great that the other minor details, Crane Kenney and Mike Quade not going with him, aren’t even a blip on my radar. Not that it matters in Quade’s case anyway as there’s zero chance a new GM wouldn’t bring in their own guy. That’s what makes the news so refreshing. It’s finally okay to return to wholeheartedly rooting for Cubs, without secretly thinking in horror that another meaningless late season winning streak could again save Hendry and Quade. The timing was great with the Cardinals in town, I don’t want even minor conflicts holding me back from all out cheering for the Cubs over the Cards.
  
  The timing though is the one detail that still lingers with me. As the details came out I quickly brushed aside the issues related to the fact that Ricketts informed Hendry of his firing on July 22nd and still allowed him carry out the string on the Trade Deadline. This was a big draft for them negotiating with many talented tough-to-sign picks (SHAWON-O-METER-JR!). Ricketts says it made sense to keep Hendry around if he were committed and willing because of negotiating continuity...change late in the stream...blah, blah, blah...fine, I’ll move on.
  
  But it kept nagging at me. And the reason is, some of the trade deadline decisions were completely indefensible. You could argue that they should have kept Dempster, Marshall, Soto, Aramis, Byrd, and hell...I’ll even give you Pena. Out of joy the firing even happened at all, I’ll also drop my insistence that they should have traded Marmol based on closer’s general (and his own) volatility from year to year along with his relative value. What cannot be defended is that Ricketts allowed a GM he had already informed of his firing to claim that Jeff Baker, a 30 year old utility infielder with .300 OBP, is untouchable. It was bad enough that it happened, it looks even worse now knowing that the GM that made the decision knew he wasn’t going to be associated to the team next year.

• Shawon Dunston Jr. signed with the Cubs last week making me the happiest boy in the whole wide world! Wait, maybe Hendry wasn’t so bad after all...

Bears Minutes

• The Bears wide reciever conundrum isn’t that difficult is it? I thought this was the offseason we got past the insistence that Devin Hester is destined to be a great WR. Now the Bears are planning to start Hester opposite Roy Williams with Earl Bennett in the slot and Johnny Knox relegated to the WR4 role just ahead of a white undrafted rookie. I get that Knox and Williams both play split-end and they’ve decided they want Roy as their number 1, but there’s no way that Knox isn’t a better option at the other reciever spot than Hester. Knox should at least be starting opposite Williams with Bennett in the slot. Hester, despite not seeming to be the same game breaker as a reciever as he is a return man, should be the fourth guy that subs in to different spots to cause mismatches.

• The Ravens signed former All-Pro Vikings LT Bryant McKinnie yesterday. All the Bears reporters had been shooting down any interest from the team and going so far as to say they agreed with the move and didn’t think it would be smart to bring him in. I’d argue that after Webb’s poor performance against the Bills it would’ve been smart to bring in some insurance, but is McKinnie even if he’s out of shape and unmotivated, not an upgrade to Frank Omiyale?! I refuse to believe that Omiyale could outperform McKinnie today, much less at midseason when Tice has had time to work on McKinnie.

• This week Bill Belichick proposed getting rid of the extra point as it is a meaningless play due to the success of conversion. ProFootballTalk covered the different options for how this could be done including the option to take 7 points for a TD, or 6 with the option to go for 2. I like the idea, particularly with the proliferation of replay on scoring plays. The extra point pressures the replay booth to make the decision on whether to review the play much quicker than they would have to if they had time to see the replay multiple times while the kickoff teams got ready. I think this would allow the incorporation of the new replay system to be more seamless.

Bulls Minutes

• Last year I followed the Bulls closer than I ever had before and I should be looking forward to this upcoming season more than anything else. Lockouts suck...

Mini-FJM Time!
Let’s start this off with Grantland’s first attempt at discussing the Cubs from Jonah Keri:

It wasn't that bad.
That's the takeaway from Jim Hendry's nine-year tenure as Cubs general manager. Under Hendry the Cubs won three division titles and very nearly made it to the World Series in 2003. Yes, we're at 103 years and counting since the Cubs last won it all. But we have reams of evidence to suggest that anything can happen in a short playoff series, including a scapegoat for the ages.

It was that bad. They spent as much as anyone in the National League during this time, and in the years they weren’t winning those few division titles they were epically bad. If the down years of his tenure weren’t SO down, then maybe I’d agree that it wasn’t that bad. Most of all, everyone needs to stop comparing Hendry to the 100 years of futility before him. Anyone would look like an amazing GM with that comparison. Can we compare him to GM’s in similar situations to his instead?

If Kerry Wood and Mark Prior don't turn into pumpkins, who knows what might have happened?

Hendry is responsible for hiring Dusty Baker, who in turn, smashed those pumpkins like he does all young pitchers.

The most damning criticism leveled against Hendry is a relative lack of results given the staggering amounts of money he dished out. In his near decade at the helm, the Cubs spent just shy of a billion dollars on Opening Day salaries, the fourth-most dollars of any team in baseball, behind only the Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets. During that span, the Yankees made the playoffs every year but 2008, won a World Series, came close another time, and remain one of the best teams in baseball; the Red Sox won the World Series twice and remain a power in their own right; and as for the Mets … uhhh … does, "Hey, at least we're not the Mets!" count as a viable marketing campaign?

So are you now agreeing that it was that bad???

The Cubs could cast aside concerns about Pujols' aging curve if they were likely to contend sometime soon. They're not. Geovany Soto is 28, Matt Garza's 27, Darwin Barney's 25, and Starlin Castro is 21.

"It's more down than up," said Kevin Goldstein of Baseball Prospectus. "Brett Jackson is nearly big league ready, and they have a few other nonstarter types that might get there, too. From there it's a pretty big gap, as most of their other talent that is highly regarded [are] very young [short-season] guys."

Build the foundation for the next winning Cubs team, then hit the open market in 2013, 2014, or whenever the time's right to find the next Pujols. When that time comes the ivy will still be green, the bleachers will still be full, and the drought will still be there, waiting to finally be broken.

Again, you started this off by saying it wasn’t that bad. Then the rest of the article you made the point that Hendry has incompetently stripped this team of any and all talent for future seasons. Need I remind you that that talent wasn’t used to construct an older contending team...no, the current team is one of the worst in baseball. So we know they suck now and they have no hope to compete for YEARS! Not too shabby for a team with one one of the highest payrolls in baseball in addition to the most loyal fanbase. Speaking of...about those bleachers...Hendry was the guy that found a way to disgust fans so much that those legendary bleachers aren’t so full anymore. "It wasn’t that bad..."

Transaction Watch
8/23- Orioles designate Felix Pie designate for assignment - Wait, where to former Cubs go to die after the Orioles give up on them?

Horrible Hokey Homemade Headline of the Hour

Moth Gives Matt a Ch-earful Holliday

Cubs 1st Half In Review

We stinks.

Moving on, congrats to Matthew who won our "Who Wants To Win A Crappy T-Shirt" contest by coming closest to the guessing the Cubs' record at the All-Star Break. Just go to the BLT store, pick out any t-shirt, email me your choice, size and shipping info, and we'll get that out for you right away so you'll have it in time for the playoffs , football season, next year. Also, thanks to Matthew and all the others who entered for contributing as much to the blog as I have in the first half...

Cubs Season Preview: Welcome to #Optimismdale

If you don't look for anything good to come out of this upcoming Cubs season, you may want to read this season preview instead. But for those of you who expect great things out of the 2011 Cubs, you've come to the right place.

Led by everyone's offseason pick for manager, Mike Quade, the Cubs look to bounce back in 2011 to once again become one of the NL's elite teams. Let's take a look at the 2011 NL Champion Chicago Cubs roster.

Catchers:

Geovany Soto and Koyie Hill - After a disappointing 2009 season, Soto bounced back strong in 2010. This season, the Cubs will be looking for him to produce even more RBIs as he is moved into the 5-6 hole in the lineup, interchanging with Carlos Pena. Koyie Hill returns as a stout defensive backup.

First Base:

Carlos Pena replaces Derrek Lee at first base this year, and finally provides the left-handed power threat that Jim Hendry has been searching for. While he may lack some with the glove and batting average, he more than makes up for in likeability.

Second Base:

Blake DeWitt, Darwin Barney, Jeff Baker - You have to give credit where credit is due, and Jim Hendry did a heckuva job in acquiring gritty middle infielders. DeWitt returns and will split time with Barney against RHP's, while Jeff Baker will continue to tear up LHP.

Shortstop

Starlin Castro - Starlin Castro returns for his second season and the sky's the limit for this kid. Castro, who hit .300 in his rookie campaign, is already being compared to Hanley Ramirez. While some may point out that he could use some improvement defensively, Castro has already shown his willingness to work at his game and is expected to make big strides in the field.

Third Base:

Aramis Ramirez - Ramirez is looking to bounce back after a disappointing season that saw him hitting .150 through May. With a renewed passion and a willingness to work with Rudy Jaramillo this year, not to mention a mutual option that could make Ramirez a free agent in 2012, there's no reason to think that Ramirez isn't going to have a monster season this year.

Outfield:

Alfonso Soriano, Marlon Byrd, Kosuke Fukudome, Tyler Colvin - You really can't go wrong here if you're Mike Quade, what a great problem to have. You have four All-Star caliber players and only three spots for them, most managers would kill to be in that situation. Soriano's leg is healthy and we're looking at a possibility of 30 HRs and 85 RBI out of the 7th spot in the lineup. Marlon Byrd is a fan favorite and last year's only All-Star representative. In RF, Quade has the luxury of choosing between Fukudome's OBP or Colvin's power.

Starting Pitchers:

Ryan Dempster, Carlos Zambrano, Matt Garza, Randy Wells, Andrew Cashner - This could quite possibly be one of the best rotations in all of baseball. With the potential of three 20-game winners in Dempster, Zambrano and Garza, this band of aces is poised to make a deep run in October. Wells has bounced back nicely this spring after a rough 2010, and Andrew Cashner beat out some stiff competition to secure the 5th starter role.

Bullpen:

John Grabow, Jeff Samardzija, James Russell, Kerry Wood, Carlos Marmol, Marcos Mateo, Sean Marshall - I expect great things from this group this season. Let's start with the obvious. John Grabow is finally healthy and is ready to retake his place as one of baseball's elite LH relievers. Sean Marshall has also quietly become one of baseball's finest LH set up men, and along with James Russell, this trio should make division opponents like Prince Fielder and Joey Votto non-factors. Kerry Wood rejoins the team and will be the 8th inning set-up man. Marmol will once again close and do so effortlessly. With Samardzija and Mateo working innings 5-7, Mike Quade shouldn't have any issues with his pen.

3 keys to winning the division:

1. Don't try and do too much. Play your game and everything will take care of itself.
2. Have fun. With a team filled with so much talent, don't forget to enjoy your victories along the way.
3. Be safe. No sense pushing yourselves, we'll need you more in October. If you feel a tweak or a pull, please shut it down. There are 25 men on this team that are more than capable of stepping up.

Cubs Season Preview: Welcome to #Negativityville

Great news everybody! As of today, there are only 162 games left before this miserable experience known as the 2011 Cubs season is over. Year Two begins with your new skipper, Mike Quade taking over the helm full-time since last year's manager walked out midseason leaving the rest of us to be covered in dog shit while he came away with clean shoes. But you know the old adage in baseball, if your team fucking blows then hire good ol' Mike Quade and he'll turn it around in no time. I'm just kidding, only a fucking idiot would think that. Speaking of, let's look at what Jim Hendry assembled, shall we? (Editor's note - For convenience, please assume that every player listed below has either a full or partial no-trade clause. Also, if your glass is a little more half-full, you may want to read this season preview instead).

Catchers:

Geovany Soto & Koyie Hill - Combined, our catchers have 16 fingers but that doesn't stop them from rolling the fatties now, does it? One can't hit for shit and the other one at least waits until there are RISP to suck. But if those bases are empty, brother...look out gappers!

First Base:

Carlos Pena - Carlos hit .198 last year. Basically, that makes him Derrek Lee but without the glove. Jim Hendry is paying him $10 million dollars this year to hit below .200 for the Cubs. But hey, he'll probably hit around 30 HRs so that makes it all right.

Second Base:

Blake DeWitt, Darwin Barney and Jeff Baker - Admit it, you just peed down your leg a little bit in excitement reading those names. I apologize to all the fans at Wrigley this summer who sit near me and won't be able to see anything due to the glare off my golden erection glistening in the afternoon sun over our 2nd base options. Also, what do we think of calling Darwin Barney "Purple Evolution?" Is that a go or is it too forced?

Shortstop:

Starlin Castro - As fine of a shortstop you will find unless somebody hits the ball to him. Then you can find 23 better options around the league.

Third Base:

Aramis Ramirez - As Aramis goes, so go the Cubs. Unfortunately that probably means they won't play defense and they'll play with Cocks. Quade had to ask Ramirez during Spring Training to be more of a leader. If you have to ask somebody to lead, that's probably not the sign of a good leader.

Outfield:

Alfonso Soriano, Marlon Byrd, Kosuke Fukudome, Tyler Colvin - Yikes! Let those four names sink in for a minute. How many games do you think there will be this season where this group combines for at least 3 strikeouts? You could set the total at 160 and I'd probably take the over. Luckily, we'll be rid of Soriano's and Fuk's contracts by the year 2037.

Starting Pitchers:

Ryan Dempster, Carlos Zambrano, Matt Garza, Randy Wells, Andrew Cashner - It's really got to be a weird feeling to be living the dream of playing major league baseball, getting to walk to the mound every fifth day to toe the rubber at beautiful Wrigley Field, and then looking at what's behind you to supposedly play defense and trying to fight the urge to blow your brains out. We'll get to see if all five of these guys are mentally tough enough to resist killing themselves or any person who plays on the left side of the field. Randy Wells sucked last year, huh? Couldn't have seen that one coming.

Bullpen:

John Grabow, Jeff Samardzija, James Russell, Kerry Wood, Carlos Marmol, Marcos Mateo, Sean Marshall - This group...this group should be fun. Let's look at the breakdown:

Grabow = Huge Turd
Samardzija = Untradeable Turd
Russell = Lefty Turd
Wood = Can he pitch every day?
Marmol = I likey
Mateo = Future All Turd
Marshall = I likey but has Turd potential

You really can't get that kind of analysis anywhere else.

3 keys to Cubs winning the division:

1. Every single player on this team has a career year
2. Every team in NL Central quits...before August 1st so there's still time to catch them.
3. Fire Jim Hendry, blow up the roster and start over. Couldn't be worse...

Opening Day

Opening Day is upon us again. Whether you're living in Optimismdale or Negativityville this season, no matter, Opening Day is a time to celebrate the magic known as bunting. Not the Brett Butler kind of bunting, I'm talking about the mystical red, white, and blue that will hang throughout every ballpark across North America for the next week and a half. The bunting is back, baby! I have expressed my love of bunting in the past and my ideas on how to incorporate it more into every day life. At the risk of pulling a Rick Reilly and rehashing an old article, I'll rein it in right here. Enjoy the bunting today, and of course, some baseball.

BLT Contest: Who Wants To Win A Crappy T-Shirt?

Aaaannnnd...we're back. After a long winter hiatus, BLT is back and better than ever. The Year One fiasco is over and we're ready for whatever Year Two has to offer. I'm feeling pretty good today as I currently reside in #Optimismdale, so what the hell, let's give away some shit. All you have to do is predict the Cubs win total by the All-Star break. That's it. The person closest to the correct win total will win a fabulous T-shirt out of our even more fabulous BLT store. Everyone is eligible**, which probably means either Clock, Puma or Splitter will get a shirt off me, but who cares? You may enter once per Google account in the comments below. Winner will be contacted on July 12th (All-Star game) to claim his/her prize. All entries must be in by April 30th. Good luck and go Cubs!

**This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final. This supersedes all previous notices.

Epic Fail

Courtesy of ESPN Chicago:

Only one end zone will be used for offense Saturday at Wrigley Field for the Illinois-Northwestern game because of safety concerns, the Big Ten announced Friday.


The east end zone is just feet away from the right-field wall, and although there is padding, there still were concerns that players could be injured there.

Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald had said this week that he would have different game plans for each end zone to avoid the possibility of injury.


When a team is on offense Saturday, it will be positioned to head to the west end zone.
Allow me to comment for a moment. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!