Opening Day

The long wait is over and the 2009 Chicago Cubs season is finally upon us. The Cubs have set their 25-man roster by sending the Samurai Ninja to AAA Iowa and by giving Chad Gaudin his outright release.

Opening Day is one of the top three days of the year along with Christmas Day and March 14th. It's a new lease on life, a second chance, a new beginning. Most importantly, it's a day with bunting.

The world would be a better place if there was more bunting. There would be no wars, no poverty and no hatred. Well, that's probably not true but everything would look a lot more festive.

Does your home life suck? Hang some bunting on the garage door and watch your relationship immediately improve. Job got you down? How about hanging some bunting in your cubicle? Guaranteed it will lift your spirits right up.

The Cubs enter 2009 as back-to-back NL Central Division champs. That really does sound impressive, until you remember that they are also back-to-back bed shitters. You know what though? None of that matters today. The rebirth is here, hang the bunting.