Hendry Fires Back At Milton

Milton Bradley released a statement yesterday through his agent, which always seems sincere, in response to his suspension and what appears to be the end of his tenure in Chicago:

"I chose Chicago as a free agent because I wanted to be part of finally bringing a championship to the Cubs' fans. I expected to have a great season and I am deeply disappointed by my performance and the team's struggles. I played every game with everything that I had and wanted to desperately win. My frustration and disappointment boiled over and I said and did certain things that I regret. In hindsight, I wish that I handled certain things differently and I apologize for those things that did not work out for the better. The air has been cleared and we all want to move on and look forward to better days."

Upon learning that Milton released a statement, Jim Hendry released one of his own:

"There are three types of people in this world. There's dicks, pussies and assholes. I'm a dick. I'm a reckless, arrogant, stupid dick. And the Player's Union reps are pussies. And Milton Bradley is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!"