The Chicago Sports Media Will Not Let You Enjoy Winning

It's official, the Chicago sports media blows. They'll shove any cliche they can think of under your nose if it pertains to losing or misery. They'll constantly remind you that the Cubs haven't won the World Series in over 100 years. Most of all, they will never let you enjoy winning.

Enter Neil Hayes of the Chicago Sun-Times and his take on the Chicago Bears:

But there are other ways of evaluating a team's performance. Yes, wins are important in this bottom-line business. But a better gauge requires measuring performance against individual and collective potential. In that case, the best news -- or the worst, depending on your point of view -- is that these Bears remain as much a work in progress as the never-ending road construction on the tollway that leads players and coaches to Halas Hall. Mental and physical errors have prevented this team from approaching a level of play that equals or exceeds the sum of its parts.

What we have learned about this team after three games is that it's a perplexing and mistake-prone bunch that raises as many questions as it answers from week to week. The Bears have a Pro Bowl-caliber running back but can't run the ball, for example. They have a franchise quarterback, but no true No. 1 receiver.

It has been a team that finishes strong but starts slow. Special teams are supposed to be a strength, but those units have surrendered as many big plays as they have made. It features a coaching staff unafraid of sending 185-pound Garrett Wolfe up the gut on a critical third-and-one against all logic.

Fuck that Neil, I'll still going to evaluate this team by wins and losses, thank you very much. Instead of writing an article that nobody wants to read about how the Bears are 4 missed field goals away from being 0-3, would it have killed you to write about how the Bears are one Rodgers to Jennings play away from being 3-0?

The Chicago Sun-Times, where fun and optimism come to die...

Carol Slezak Should've Purchased The Cubs

In today's Chicago Sun-Times, Carol Slezak is already trying to drum up some negativity for the 2010 Cubs because, well, we just didn't get enough of that crap during the 2009 season:

As boss, Ricketts could choose to rid the organization of every remnant of its losing history. He could have his pick of the most accomplished names in the game, from managers to general managers to player personnel directors. He could immediately begin to make this organization over. But don't look for bold change anytime soon. The new boss has already shown us that he's content to stay the course. How very Cub-like of him.

Yes, how very Cub-like. As boss, instead of concentrating on player personnel, why doesn't he fire Hendry (who is under contract and will still get paid) and Piniella (who is also under contract and will still get paid) and pay two additional people to do those jobs. Why doesn't he just go into his basement and fire up his money-making machine and print a shit ton of gazillion dollar bills and go to town signing people? And in a very Slezak-like move, she states that Ricketts could "have his pick of the most accomplished names in the game, from managers to general managers," yet she is either too lazy or too stupid to even name one person. Which pick-of-the-litter GM is out there and available just waiting for his chance to turn the Cubs into World Champions, or are you just throwing crap against the wall and hoping it sticks?

Hendry Fires Back At Milton

Milton Bradley released a statement yesterday through his agent, which always seems sincere, in response to his suspension and what appears to be the end of his tenure in Chicago:

"I chose Chicago as a free agent because I wanted to be part of finally bringing a championship to the Cubs' fans. I expected to have a great season and I am deeply disappointed by my performance and the team's struggles. I played every game with everything that I had and wanted to desperately win. My frustration and disappointment boiled over and I said and did certain things that I regret. In hindsight, I wish that I handled certain things differently and I apologize for those things that did not work out for the better. The air has been cleared and we all want to move on and look forward to better days."

Upon learning that Milton released a statement, Jim Hendry released one of his own:

"There are three types of people in this world. There's dicks, pussies and assholes. I'm a dick. I'm a reckless, arrogant, stupid dick. And the Player's Union reps are pussies. And Milton Bradley is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!"

Milton Bradley Suspended

The Chicago Cubs suspended Milton Bradley for the rest of the season for his behavior at the MTV Video Music Awards show. Apparently Bradley stormed onstage and interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech and told the audience that Beyonce should have won the award instead. Or something like that, I get my jackasses confused. Who cares anymore?

Shawon Dunston's College Fund To Get A Boost

According to Carrie Muskat, Shawon Dunston has objected to the sale of the Cubs in bankruptcy court because the team owes him money for a college education.

"It was just a formality," Dunston said. "When I signed the contract [in 1982], they said they'd pay for my college tuition if I ever went. It was part of my signing bonus but I never used it. My adviser asked me about it, and told me to send a letter by the 16th [of September], so that's what I did. I have nothing against the Cubs."

According to the Cubs, the contractural clause was standard for top high school players and amounted to $8,000 to $10,000.

The "contractural" clause? It appears Shawon Dunston isn't the only person that should go back to school.

BLT Night Is In The Books

Well, BLT Night at Wrigley Field was bittersweet. Clock and I had tremendous seats, so that was good. We did have to watch the Cubs suck up close though, so that was kind of bad. I did get to meet Pink Hat Guy (I'm pretty sure it's really John from WAIW but he won't admit it) so that was good. It turns out that I'm not faster than a 65-year-old man, so that was bad. I did get to sport my new BLT sweatshirt, as you can see in the picture, so that was good. But it also appears from the picture that my hair loss situation is even worse than I previously realized, so that's kind of bad.

BLT Night At Wrigley

If watching a shitty baseball team isn't enough to entice you to come on out to Wrigley Field tonight, how about the chance to meet a couple of shitty bloggers? That's right, Clock and I will be at the game tonight so come on by and say hi. I realize that since we've never posted a picture of what we look like it may be hard to spot us, but I'll be the guy wearing this.

The first person to find us will win a genuine "Pink Hat Guy" hat, assuming I'm still faster than a 65-year-old man.

Running Clock

It's now time for the third installment of 'Running Clock.' If you aren't familiar with this feature, it's where I post random emails that Dan O'Clock sends me throughout the day. You can check out the first installment here and the second installment here.

Today, Clock sends me this:

I know on the internet it seems no one can typically tell the difference between "lose" and "loose", but Dez Clark is taking it to a new level with a new wrinkle on his blog.

Not the Way We Wanted it to Go

"So close but still yet so far away, is how I look at our lose to Green Bay. As poorly as the offense played in the first half, our defense managed to keep us within striking distance the entire game.

Before Bear fandom go wild, let's put this lose into prospective. This is only one game, we have fifteen games left. I'm not trying to belittle the lose because of course, it is the Packers, just saying there is a tremendous amount of football left."

You'll have to click the link to see Dez's reaction to loosening Urlacher for the year and to see when Dez thinks his back will losen up.

Jim Mora Sr. Shares His Postgame Press Conference Expertise

According to Brad Biggs of the Chicago Sun-Times, people aren't just unhappy with Cutler's performance on the field after one game. People are actually criticizing his performance in the postgame press conference as well.

Mike Martz and Jim Mora Sr. made pointed remarks about Cutler's postgame press conference Sunday night at Lambeau Field after he threw a career-high four interceptions in a 21-15 loss to the Green Bay Packers. The Bears were 0-for-3 in the red zone and spoiled an all-around defensive effort. Cutler strung together a series of cliches and said miscommunications were partly to blame for the turnovers.

"When I saw that postgame press conference last night, I thought he looked completely immature,'' Mora said on the premier of The Head Coaches on NFL Network Monday night. "He acted like he didn't even care."

Of course, Jim Mora Sr. is an expert when it comes to showing that the postgame press conference should be taken seriously.



"He just doesn't get it,'' Martz said. "He doesn't understand that he represents a great head coach and the rest of those players on that team ... somebody needs to talk to him."

Smith remains close to Dungy and Martz both. It's difficult to imagine they would be critical of the marquee addition to the organization--the replacement for Sid Luckman six decades later--without knowing Smith would be understanding and accepting of their evaluations. Dungy called Cutler's makeup into question before.

"We'll see about his maturity level,'' Dungy said in a teleconference announcing his addition to NBC's coverage in early June. "That's what I would question. And some of the things that happened leading to him leaving Denver ... that would concern me as a head coach. He can make all of the throws, but quarterbacking is much more than just making throws."

I can see that Tony Dungy feels very strongly about this, which is probably why he only surrounds himself with such quality people like Michael Vick and Marvin Harrison.

The Answer To All Our Prayers

When ESPN launched ESPN Chicago.com, we all had a good laugh. There wasn't really a need for them to do this and no offense, but I really don't care what Scoop Jackson and Gene Wojciechowski think of Chicago sports.

Well, now ESPN has brought us what we've all been clamoring for. For years we've said "you know, ESPN is nice and all but they really neglect the Boston area. If only I knew where to go to find coverage of the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics?" Wish no more my friends, for ESPN has now launched ESPN Boston! The skeptic out there is probably saying "what's the difference between ESPN.com and ESPN Boston.com? Well smart guy, the answer is simple...less Yankees.

Cubs Trying To Cut Down On The Crazy?

According to Bruce Levine of ESPN Chicago, the Cubs are looking to get a little less crazy next year:

"We need a little speed at the top of our lineup," he said. "We probably need another nice RBI bat as well, but that's Jim's [Hendry, the Cubs' general manager] department. But if I'm asked, that's what I think is appropriate."

The team will most likely explore deals for outfielder Milton Bradley and starting pitcher Carlos Zambrano. Bradley has had a disappointing season and has a back-loaded contract for the last two years of his deal that will pay $23 million.

Zambrano has three years left at close to $50 million. He also has a complete no-trade clause over the life of the contract. However, the Cubs pitcher told me earlier in the season that if the team ever wanted to trade him, he wouldn't stand in their way.

I can understand why the Cubs may want to rid themselves of Bradley, but trading Zambrano seems a little foolish. If you trade Bradley because you're tired of his antics, the Cubs have a reasonable chance of finding a replacement that is an upgrade. If you trade Zambrano because you're tired of his antics, who do you bring in that's better? Craziness is only unacceptable if you are not producing. I don't know about the rest of you but I'm more than willing to keep Big Z around for three more years. What say you?

Now What Will We Complain About?

Dave Van Dyck breaks news in Saturday's Chicago Tribune on something that I thought was resolved back in July:

Radio talk shows will have one less subject to rant about next season. The days of Alfonso Soriano batting leadoff are over.

Cubs manager Lou Piniella said Friday that even if Soriano returns completely healthy next spring that he won't return to the No. 1 spot in the lineup.

"No, no, no, that's over with," Piniella said emphatically. "No, we're not going to do that.

"No, if we stay the way we are, we have the option of [ Kosuke] Fukudome or [ Ryan] Theriot. If we add a speed player to the mix, that would change, obviously."

Well thank God. Now radio talk shows can finally concentrate on lobbying for Carlos Zambrano to be traded and for Lou Piniella to be fired. Also, Theriot leading off next year too? Really? If everyone hated having a guy who didn't draw walks and swung for the fences in the leadoff spot, why would you replace him with another guy who doesn't draw walks and swings for the fences, except he doesn't hit them out nearly as often?

New Scoop

Scoop Jackson defends Milton Bradley on ESPN Chicago (editor's note: this story originally posted on August 28th but seriously, who the hell reads ESPN Chicago anyway).

Now, if we are being honest -- really, really honest -- we know Bradley has been singled out more than any other Cub for the failure of the team. In the papers, on the radio, on blogs, on television, on sports Web sites, in bars, in barbershops, in arguments in and around the city, Bradley easily has been the go-to guy when assigning blame. More than any other player.

But is that justified? Really? Is Milton Bradley a reason (let alone the main reason) the Cubs are nine games out of first in a division they ran away with last year?

Is he the reason Alfonso Soriano is batting .238 with only 19 homers and 52 RBIs? Is he the reason Geovany Soto is hitting only .218? Is he the reason Kosuke Fukudome's numbers are so disappointing? Is he the reason only one player (Aramis Ramirez) is hitting better than .300?

That's all fine and dandy Scoop, but if we are being honest--really, really honest--we also know that Bradley has not done one thing to make his move to Chicago go smoothly. While I do find it admirable that Bradley has not made any excuses for his poor play, he does take every opportunity to stick his finger in the fan's or media's eyes, an act that is getting rather old. Since he is providing more highlights in interviews rather than on the field, I would imagine that is why he is being talked about.

To address your other concerns, yes, he is a reason why the Cubs are not performing as well as expectations. He may not be the main reason, but he is definitely a reason.

Also:

Fukudome in 2008: 25 2B, 3 3B, 10 HR, 58 RBI, .359 OBP, .379 SLG, .738 OPS
Fukudome in 2009: 30 2B, 5 3B, 11 HR, 48 RBI, .378 OBP, .442 SLG, .819 OPS

I'm open to the argument that Bradley isn't the biggest disappointment on the Cubs, but it should probably come from someone who actually follows the Cubs and knows what they're talking about.

Moveable Object vs. Resistable Force: Otherwise Known as Cubs vs. Sox

In case any of you are still paying attention, the Cubs play the White Sox today in a make up game at Wrigley. So if you happen to be on the North Side and run into a group of foul smelling, dyslexic meth-heads, you know why.

Jeff Fassero Is Still Haunting The Cubs

According to Carrie Muskat's blog (in case you wanted more access to Carrie) former Cubs reliever Jeff Fassero is actually a pitching coach in the Cubs' Minor League organization:

Former big league pitcher Jeff Fassero is a pitching coach in the Cubs' Minor League organization. Fassero, who pitched for the Cubs in 2001-02, has known Minor League pitching coordinator Mark Riggins since 1984. That's the year the St. Louis Cardinals drafted Fassero. Riggins was a coach in the Cardinals system at that time. Fassero last pitched in 2006 with the Giants. "He loves working," Riggins said of the lefty, who will help the Cubs pitchers during instructional league workouts in Mesa in October.

While I find it very noble that Fassero "loves working," I do remember how terrible he was at pitching. Maybe he could just help rake the field or draw the foul lines instead of teaching pitchers?

It's A Miracle

Hallelujah! Miraculously, David Patton is healthy enough to be activated from the disabled list one day after rosters expanded. Now we can stash the Rule 5'er in the bullpen for the rest of the season and he's ours forever.

Patton returns with an ERA of 5.63 in 17 relief appearances. I'm sure though that eventually it will all be worth having him occupy a roster spot that could've been used by someone who would've actually contributed to this team.

Bruce Miles Is Fair & Balanced: Part II

I've complained in the past that the Chicago media gives Ryan Theriot a free pass. You never hear them call him out for his defensive limitations, or for his repeated attempts to advance from second to third on a ball hit to the shortstop.

I've also complained about Bruce Miles from the Daily Herald in the past when I felt like he wasn't providing fair coverage. That's why I found it refreshing to read this:

Shortstop Ryan Theriot entered Tuesday with 35 walks and 78 strikeouts. That's a far cry from last year, when he had 73 walks and 58 strikeouts for the entire season.

Theriot's on-base percentage is way down, too. It was .343 entering Tuesday. Last season, Theriot had an OBP of .387.

Earlier this year, manager Lou Piniella asked Theriot to "drive" the ball more. He came into Tuesday with career bests in homers (7) and RBI (49). However, his post all-star-break numbers included an OBP of .323 and a slugging percentage of .333.

While it's not nearly as negative as some of the things written about Soriano, Bradley and Zambrano in the past, I do appreciate that Bruce isn't playing favorites when it comes to pointing out who isn't getting the job done. That's pretty much all I've been asking for from the media. Since I've ripped him in the past when I felt that he got it wrong, I would be guilty of playing favorites myself if I failed to point out when I felt Bruce Miles got it right.

September Call-Ups

The Cubs added three players to the active roster today by activating Andres Blanco from the 15-day DL and recalling Micah Hoffpauir and Justin Berg from Triple-A Iowa. I'm assuming it's too obvious to activate David Patton today so the Cubs will wait a little bit. The anticipation is killing me.

Hendry Doesn't Kiss & Tell

Jim Hendry is a little irked information was leaked that Heilman and Harden were claimed off of waivers, and he isn't going to indulge you by talking about it.

"It was the biggest non-story of that big of magnitude," Hendry said. "We always run everyone through what we call 'trade waivers.' Everyone in Major League Baseball usually runs their whole team through in August. We had 12 people claimed over the course of the month, and for whatever reason, two names (Harden and Aaron Heilman) were made public.

"It's not something I would ever discuss- possible trades, or were we close, or names here or there. But I can tell you, we never really gave it any substantive thought, because we certainly would never give up unless we were out of it. If we were 15 back, obviously you might have looked at things a little differently with other people who were never mentioned in the press.

"It's just the way the world is now. So of the 12 that were claimed, two were stories and 10 had the same results as those two."

Hendry said he wasn't bothered by the rumors, but said if someone in the Cubs organization leaked out the names of players claimed on waivers, "that would be their last day working for me."

I hate to stick my nose in other people's business, but it was Aaron Miles who blabbed about it...