Ru-dy! Ru-dy! Ru-dy!

According to Bruce Levine of ESPN 1000, the Cubs are going to announce the signing of Rudy Jaramillo.

The Cubs will announce Wednesday that former Texas Rangers hitting instructor Rudy Jaramillo has signed a three-year, $2.42 million contract to become Chicago's next hitting coach, player sources told ESPNChicago.com on Tuesday.

Jaramillo spent the last 15 years with Texas and has had 17 players win Silver Slugger awards under his guidance. The new Cubs' hitting coach resurrected the careers of slugger Sammy Sosa, Mark DeRosa and Gary Matthews, Jr. to name just a few of the hundreds of hitters he has impacted in his tenure in Texas.

The 59-year old Texas native coached both Alfonso Soriano and Milton Bradley during their time with the Rangers. Bradley had his best major league season in 2008 under Jaramillo's tutelage when he lead the AL in OPS.

I'd be much more excited if Jaramillo played a corner-outfield spot but I guess this is a start...

Have You Ever Wondered?

How come nobody is talking about what a genius Tony LaRussa is and what a miracle worker Dave Duncan is when the Cardinals get swept out of the playoffs? Could they have (gasp) underachieved?

The way the lifeless Cardinals were knocked out almost made the whole baseball season worth it. Thanks for the pick-me-up.

What You're Missing In The 2009 Playoffs

While I thought I'd miss seeing the Cubs in this year's playoffs, I have to admit I'm enjoying the opening round this year. Probably a big reason is that in the past two years, the Cubs would be one loss away from elimination at this point. Also, this would bring a smile to any one's face...



Predictably, the "Greatest Fans In The World" are taking this all in stride, you know, by calling for the death of Holliday and forgetting that he hit something like .850 since he was acquired by the douche birds.

Another reason I'm enjoying these playoffs is because the umpiring is absolutely awful but it's not affecting my favorite team. Last night in the Yankees/Twins game, this ball was called foul:



The ball landed fair by a foot and was missed by an umpire standing 6 feet away. In the same game, the home plate umpire called a strike on a swing twice without appealing to the third base umpire for help. Both times it was borderline that the hitter went around. Why are home plate umpires making that call? Nobody would think less of them if they appealed to get the call correct. It makes no sense to me that we instituted instant replay to get home run calls correct, but we're still going to guess on check swing strikes and fair/foul calls. Use the help you have out there.

All of this is overshadowed of course by the fact that Chip Caray still sucks. In fact, I think he's gotten worse. If you're bored and feel like getting really, really drunk, I dare you to drink everytime Chip says "fisted." I have no idea why TBS is forcing Chip on everyone during the playoffs. It's causing me to have really fucked up fantasies where Chip Caray and George Lopez are involved in a murder-suicide.

Gotta love October baseball...

Season = Over

The Cubs season is officially over and I'm not sure which ending is worse: The Cubs getting swept out of the playoffs or never getting into the postseason in the first place? I guess it doesn't really matter.

It's tough times like these that I call on the inspiration of Gloria Clemente (also known as Rosie Perez from the American classic, "White Men Can't Jump") when she profoundly said "Sometimes when you win, you really lose. And sometimes when you lose, you really win. And sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic globule, from which one extracts what one needs."

I need a drink.

But do not abandon all hope, ye who enter here. BLT will be around during the offseason to fill your Cub needs, with a little Chicago Bears most likely mixed in. So keep your head up, pitchers and catchers report in about 131 days.