The Cubs have not officially announced the signing of Bob Howry as of yet, probably due to embarrassment. At first, the rumored signing enraged me but after having a chance to digest, I've decided to use this news towards something positive. I sat down and quickly penned an idea that I pitched to Warner Bros. and they're very interested in proceeding. I think I'm going to need you, the reader, to look over what I have so far and give me your honest opinion. Give it to me straight, I can take it.
Tom Ricketts, a former investment banker, has purchased the Chicago Cubs baseball team from the Tribune Company. He wants to move the team to the warmer climate of Miami. In order to do this, he must reduce attendance at Wrigley Field below a total of 800,000 ticket sales, which will void the team's lease with the city of Chicago. After he moves the team, he would also be able to release all the current players and replace them with new ones. He instructs his General Manager, Jim Hendry, to hire the worst team possible from a list he has already prepared including names like John Grabow and Bob Howry.
Spring Training in Mesa, Arizona reveals several problems with the newer players. Samardzija has an incredible fastball but lacks control. Theriot is able to run the bases quickly but hits only pop ups, and while Soriano has tremendous power he cannot hit a curveball. The veterans have their own problems, as Ramirez refuses Jaramillo's help and Lee refuses to move down in the order. On the final day when Piniella is to cut the team down to 25 players, Ramirez plays a practical joke on Samardzija, making him believe he was cut.
I'd also like to incorporate an idea I have about two Oriental groundskeepers that swear a lot as well. What do you think so far, too far fetched?
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