Well, the site seems to be up again but I'm sure you only have something like a four-hour window to read this gem. It's once again time for Pumail! For those of you not familiar with Pumail, this is when I post random emails I receive throughout the day from our very own BLT Correspondent, Puma. Today, we welcome the most optimistic of Cubs fans to Negativityville as this team has sucked the hope and will out of yet another lifelong fan.
From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 10:55 AM
To: Jay
Subject:
By the way, I’m willing to join anyone’s I Hate the Cubs group, if anyone wants to start one…
Good God am I tired of them. I try like hell to not watch them or listen on the radio or whatever but even the small bits and pieces I inevitably end up seeing just piss me off to no end. Zambrano laboring, Derrek Lee making errors (remember when people argued for Lee in a Lee v. Pujols debate??!!), Marmol hitting guys (I turned off the Lilly game in the ninth after the balk, I couldn’t deal with the potential pain of a loss there), Theriot’s .675 OPS, etc. etc.
From: Jay
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 10:59 AM
To: Puma
Subject: RE:
Welcome to Negativityville...Population is now 3. Our secret password is "Sam Fuld swallows..."
From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:01 AM
To: Jay
Subject: RE:
That’s fine, Sam Fuld sucks too…
From: Jay
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:05 AM
To: Puma
Subject: RE:
It's not all bad news around here though. John Grabow is back!
From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:20 AM
To: Jay
Subject: RE:
I hate him too. Things I also hate:
Lou taking an hour to walk to the mound to ensure that John Grabow gets a couple of extra warmup pitches before he picks up his can of gasoline
Derrek Lee’s baserunning – Seriously, I don’t take pleasure in hating on Derrek so much because it’s my understanding that he is a truly nice guy, but he is the worst baserunner of all time. He is the anti-Theriot, which reminds me…
Ryan Theriot’s baserunning – Theriot and Lee are both terrible baserunners, but for completely different reasons. Theriot always runs, he’s an idiot who can’t pick his spots. Lee never runs. He gets the worst jumps on singles and almost never scores from second on a single. Even on gappers DLee is standing near second base afraid that Stretch Armstrong is patrolling RF for the Pirates
Ron Santo’s announcing – I love Ron Santo with all my heart and soul, but when the Cubs are bad he just amplifies my already amplified fears. When Lilly gave up the hit to Pierre in the ninth on Sunday Ronnie went on this woe-is-me rant about how now Pierre is just gonna steal second and come around to score and “God, Gosh, Gee Whiz” and all that. When Marmol balked I had to change the station lest I drive off the road…
Chad Tracy’s swing – He swings like a girl
Kosuke’s disappearing act
Dempster & Lilly’s penchant for offering up game changing HRs in the 7th and 8th of otherwise well-pitched ballgames
Randy Wells’ entirely predictable decline
The palpable sense of dread in the ballpark any time the Cubs are playing – It doesn’t look like *anyone* is having fun during Cubs games, it always looks like a root canal for everyone involved (except maybe Soriano). Can we get Kenny Lofton and his crazy 16-step high-fives back on the team?
Geovany Soto’s ass-clenching in big spots – Seriously, look it up. His numbers go completely downhill from Bases Empty, to Runner on 1st, to RISP, to RISP with two outs. He is afraid, and I’m amazed he progressed this far in his career with that mental deficiency
Mike Fontenot’s completely useless roster spot – He’s not starting, he’s not a great pinch hitter, he’s not fast, he’s not a great glove man, and he’s not blessed with great power. Why’s he here?
Xavier Nady’s inability to throw – It’s maddening to me that we have a guy who cannot throw, playing *baseball*
Jim Hendry
Jim Hendry
Jim Hendry
Jim Hendry
From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 10:55 AM
To: Jay
Subject:
By the way, I’m willing to join anyone’s I Hate the Cubs group, if anyone wants to start one…
Good God am I tired of them. I try like hell to not watch them or listen on the radio or whatever but even the small bits and pieces I inevitably end up seeing just piss me off to no end. Zambrano laboring, Derrek Lee making errors (remember when people argued for Lee in a Lee v. Pujols debate??!!), Marmol hitting guys (I turned off the Lilly game in the ninth after the balk, I couldn’t deal with the potential pain of a loss there), Theriot’s .675 OPS, etc. etc.
From: Jay
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 10:59 AM
To: Puma
Subject: RE:
Welcome to Negativityville...Population is now 3. Our secret password is "Sam Fuld swallows..."
From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:01 AM
To: Jay
Subject: RE:
That’s fine, Sam Fuld sucks too…
From: Jay
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:05 AM
To: Puma
Subject: RE:
It's not all bad news around here though. John Grabow is back!
From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:20 AM
To: Jay
Subject: RE:
I hate him too. Things I also hate:
Lou taking an hour to walk to the mound to ensure that John Grabow gets a couple of extra warmup pitches before he picks up his can of gasoline
Derrek Lee’s baserunning – Seriously, I don’t take pleasure in hating on Derrek so much because it’s my understanding that he is a truly nice guy, but he is the worst baserunner of all time. He is the anti-Theriot, which reminds me…
Ryan Theriot’s baserunning – Theriot and Lee are both terrible baserunners, but for completely different reasons. Theriot always runs, he’s an idiot who can’t pick his spots. Lee never runs. He gets the worst jumps on singles and almost never scores from second on a single. Even on gappers DLee is standing near second base afraid that Stretch Armstrong is patrolling RF for the Pirates
Ron Santo’s announcing – I love Ron Santo with all my heart and soul, but when the Cubs are bad he just amplifies my already amplified fears. When Lilly gave up the hit to Pierre in the ninth on Sunday Ronnie went on this woe-is-me rant about how now Pierre is just gonna steal second and come around to score and “God, Gosh, Gee Whiz” and all that. When Marmol balked I had to change the station lest I drive off the road…
Chad Tracy’s swing – He swings like a girl
Kosuke’s disappearing act
Dempster & Lilly’s penchant for offering up game changing HRs in the 7th and 8th of otherwise well-pitched ballgames
Randy Wells’ entirely predictable decline
The palpable sense of dread in the ballpark any time the Cubs are playing – It doesn’t look like *anyone* is having fun during Cubs games, it always looks like a root canal for everyone involved (except maybe Soriano). Can we get Kenny Lofton and his crazy 16-step high-fives back on the team?
Geovany Soto’s ass-clenching in big spots – Seriously, look it up. His numbers go completely downhill from Bases Empty, to Runner on 1st, to RISP, to RISP with two outs. He is afraid, and I’m amazed he progressed this far in his career with that mental deficiency
Mike Fontenot’s completely useless roster spot – He’s not starting, he’s not a great pinch hitter, he’s not fast, he’s not a great glove man, and he’s not blessed with great power. Why’s he here?
Xavier Nady’s inability to throw – It’s maddening to me that we have a guy who cannot throw, playing *baseball*
Jim Hendry
Jim Hendry
Jim Hendry
Jim Hendry
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