Maybe They're Struggling Because In The Last Seven Games...They've Played Eight Games?

I was watching the worldwide leader this morning as they broke down the struggling Cardinals, when they showed this on the screen:



No matter how badly they butchered that, the important thing to take from this is that the Cardinals suck.

Under Armour May Want To Get Themselves A New Poster Boy

There's a Sports Authority within a mile from my work that I like to frequent on my lunch hour. Ever since Opening Day last season, they've had this Under Armour advertisement in the window...





Yes, that's the great Jeff Samardzija pimping for Under Armour. Apparently, the "Under" is short for Underachieving...

Can You Pick Your New Manager Out Of A Lineup?

The Mike Quade era officially begins tonight (throws up in mouth). It is now painfully obvious that Jim Hendry hates us as much as we hate him. You have to admire Hendry on this one, this was the one card he could've played to piss off the rest of his remaining fan base and the motherfucker didn't even hesitate to use it. Well played, Jimbo. Look at the bright side though, it's an immediate upgrade in the third base coaching box. But what do we know about Mike Quade other than the fact I hated him at third? Can you even pick him out of a lineup?

or



or



or



The correct answer is D, although I'd be happier if A, B, or C were named interim manager...

DLee to ATL

It's official, Derrek Lee has been traded to Atlanta. The Cubs get RHPs Robinson Lopez and Tyrelle Harris as well as LHP Jeffrey Lorick in return. Lee will still be at Wrigley this weekend as the Braves come to town for a 3-game set starting on Friday. Please contact Andy at Desipio or Bad Kermit at Hire Jim Essian to inquire about how big of an ovation is allowed and what is not considered acceptable behavior...

Cubs Are So Bad That Even DLee Now Wants Off?

From mlbtraderumors.com:

The Braves are close to trading for Derrek Lee, according to David Kaplan of CSNChicago.com. Lee, who vetoed a deal to the Angels last month, must approve any trade the Cubs propose. Sources close to Lee told Kaplan that the first baseman would likely approve a deal to Atlanta. Kaplan's sources say the trade would be a salary dump and is near completion.
The Cubs owe Lee $3.4MM between now and the end of the season, when he hits free agency. The 34-year-old has a .251/.335/.416 line in 475 plate appearances and projects to be a Type B free agent this offseason.

Kaplan's sources say the trade would be a salary dump? No. Fucking. Shit. If Kaplan's sources didn't explain that, I might have thought that this was the deal that was finally going to put us over the top in 2010 and begin our amazing run towards the playoffs...

Once Again, For Clarification, Derrek Lee Prefers This To Actually Winning Games

Honestly, there's not much more to say. This team is dangerously close to becoming one of the least liked Cubs teams of all-time. They've now dropped 6 in a row, 2 of those by at least 15 runs. Damage can be seen below:

click on boxscore to enhance


Braun and Fielder went a combined 10-14 with 7 RBI in the middle of the lineup. Our dynamic duo? Not so much. But hey, look at the bright side...the Brewers left 33 men on base.

Here's something to make you even more miserable. What's worse? The fact that our pitching staff has been torched the last 6 games giving up 6, 8, 17, 6, 8 & 18 or the fact that the Cubs still know that Samardzija isn't an improvement?

Scoreboard picture courtesy of WAIW.com