Bush League Times

Milton Bradley Arrested...Again

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 20:19:00 +0000

Milton Bradley was arrested again, this time for swinging a baseball bat at his wife. According to reports, Bradley swung and missed twice and then took the third one looking. He was promptly ejected. Somewhere, Paul Sullivan is cackling and rolling a blunt...

ClockWise - Volume 1

noreply@blogger.com (Dan O'Clock) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:11:00 +0000

In honor of Jim Hendry’s firing on Friday, in conjunction with attending my first and only Cub game of the season on Saturday, I feel like BLT needs an article. Maybe witnessing a Cubs shutout victory has me on a high. Maybe I’m just high.

The inspiration for this column’s name, StreetWise, is an awful weekly publication about Chicago that absolutely nobody reads. I intend to replicate all of that from a sports perspective, the only question being the weekly part. So yeah, if the homeless use this article to wipe their asses, I'll consider it a success. Say it with me: Hoo-Frickin’-Ray!

Cubs Minutes

As mentioned above, and celebrated across the globe, Jim Hendry has finally been canned. It seems right to make this the first thing to comment on. What a glorious day it was, as good as Cutler Day, running around the office announcing the news to anyone in earshot. It’s so great that the other minor details, Crane Kenney and Mike Quade not going with him, aren’t even a blip on my radar. Not that it matters in Quade’s case anyway as there’s zero chance a new GM wouldn’t bring in their own guy. That’s what makes the news so refreshing. It’s finally okay to return to wholeheartedly rooting for Cubs, without secretly thinking in horror that another meaningless late season winning streak could again save Hendry and Quade. The timing was great with the Cardinals in town, I don’t want even minor conflicts holding me back from all out cheering for the Cubs over the Cards.

The timing though is the one detail that still lingers with me. As the details came out I quickly brushed aside the issues related to the fact that Ricketts informed Hendry of his firing on July 22nd and still allowed him carry out the string on the Trade Deadline. This was a big draft for them negotiating with many talented tough-to-sign picks (SHAWON-O-METER-JR!). Ricketts says it made sense to keep Hendry around if he were committed and willing because of negotiating continuity...change late in the stream...blah, blah, blah...fine, I’ll move on.

But it kept nagging at me. And the reason is, some of the trade deadline decisions were completely indefensible. You could argue that they should have kept Dempster, Marshall, Soto, Aramis, Byrd, and hell...I’ll even give you Pena. Out of joy the firing even happened at all, I’ll also drop my insistence that they should have traded Marmol based on closer’s general (and his own) volatility from year to year along with his relative value. What cannot be defended is that Ricketts allowed a GM he had already informed of his firing to claim that Jeff Baker, a 30 year old utility infielder with .300 OBP, is untouchable. It was bad enough that it happened, it looks even worse now knowing that the GM that made the decision knew he wasn’t going to be associated to the team next year.

Shawon Dunston Jr. signed with the Cubs last week making me the happiest boy in the whole wide world! Wait, maybe Hendry wasn’t so bad after all...

Bears Minutes

The Bears wide reciever conundrum isn’t that difficult is it? I thought this was the offseason we got past the insistence that Devin Hester is destined to be a great WR. Now the Bears are planning to start Hester opposite Roy Williams with Earl Bennett in the slot and Johnny Knox relegated to the WR4 role just ahead of a white undrafted rookie. I get that Knox and Williams both play split-end and they’ve decided they want Roy as their number 1, but there’s no way that Knox isn’t a better option at the other reciever spot than Hester. Knox should at least be starting opposite Williams with Bennett in the slot. Hester, despite not seeming to be the same game breaker as a reciever as he is a return man, should be the fourth guy that subs in to different spots to cause mismatches.

The Ravens signed former All-Pro Vikings LT Bryant McKinnie yesterday. All the Bears reporters had been shooting down any interest from the team and going so far as to say they agreed with the move and didn’t think it would be smart to bring him in. I’d argue that after Webb’s poor performance against the Bills it would’ve been smart to bring in some insurance, but is McKinnie even if he’s out of shape and unmotivated, not an upgrade to Frank Omiyale?! I refuse to believe that Omiyale could outperform McKinnie today, much less at midseason when Tice has had time to work on McKinnie.

This week Bill Belichick proposed getting rid of the extra point as it is a meaningless play due to the success of conversion. ProFootballTalk covered the different options for how this could be done including the option to take 7 points for a TD, or 6 with the option to go for 2. I like the idea, particularly with the proliferation of replay on scoring plays. The extra point pressures the replay booth to make the decision on whether to review the play much quicker than they would have to if they had time to see the replay multiple times while the kickoff teams got ready. I think this would allow the incorporation of the new replay system to be more seamless.

Bulls Minutes

Last year I followed the Bulls closer than I ever had before and I should be looking forward to this upcoming season more than anything else. Lockouts suck...

Mini-FJM Time!
Let’s start this off with Grantland’s first attempt at discussing the Cubs from Jonah Keri:

It wasn't that bad.
That's the takeaway from Jim Hendry's nine-year tenure as Cubs general manager. Under Hendry the Cubs won three division titles and very nearly made it to the World Series in 2003. Yes, we're at 103 years and counting since the Cubs last won it all. But we have reams of evidence to suggest that anything can happen in a short playoff series, including a scapegoat for the ages.

It was that bad. They spent as much as anyone in the National League during this time, and in the years they weren’t winning those few division titles they were epically bad. If the down years of his tenure weren’t SO down, then maybe I’d agree that it wasn’t that bad. Most of all, everyone needs to stop comparing Hendry to the 100 years of futility before him. Anyone would look like an amazing GM with that comparison. Can we compare him to GM’s in similar situations to his instead?

If Kerry Wood and Mark Prior don't turn into pumpkins, who knows what might have happened?

Hendry is responsible for hiring Dusty Baker, who in turn, smashed those pumpkins like he does all young pitchers.

The most damning criticism leveled against Hendry is a relative lack of results given the staggering amounts of money he dished out. In his near decade at the helm, the Cubs spent just shy of a billion dollars on Opening Day salaries, the fourth-most dollars of any team in baseball, behind only the Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets. During that span, the Yankees made the playoffs every year but 2008, won a World Series, came close another time, and remain one of the best teams in baseball; the Red Sox won the World Series twice and remain a power in their own right; and as for the Mets … uhhh … does, "Hey, at least we're not the Mets!" count as a viable marketing campaign?

So are you now agreeing that it was that bad???

The Cubs could cast aside concerns about Pujols' aging curve if they were likely to contend sometime soon. They're not. Geovany Soto is 28, Matt Garza's 27, Darwin Barney's 25, and Starlin Castro is 21.

"It's more down than up," said Kevin Goldstein of Baseball Prospectus. "Brett Jackson is nearly big league ready, and they have a few other nonstarter types that might get there, too. From there it's a pretty big gap, as most of their other talent that is highly regarded [are] very young [short-season] guys."

Build the foundation for the next winning Cubs team, then hit the open market in 2013, 2014, or whenever the time's right to find the next Pujols. When that time comes the ivy will still be green, the bleachers will still be full, and the drought will still be there, waiting to finally be broken.

Again, you started this off by saying it wasn’t that bad. Then the rest of the article you made the point that Hendry has incompetently stripped this team of any and all talent for future seasons. Need I remind you that that talent wasn’t used to construct an older contending team...no, the current team is one of the worst in baseball. So we know they suck now and they have no hope to compete for YEARS! Not too shabby for a team with one one of the highest payrolls in baseball in addition to the most loyal fanbase. Speaking of...about those bleachers...Hendry was the guy that found a way to disgust fans so much that those legendary bleachers aren’t so full anymore. "It wasn’t that bad..."

Transaction Watch
8/23- Orioles designate Felix Pie designate for assignment - Wait, where to former Cubs go to die after the Orioles give up on them?

Horrible Hokey Homemade Headline of the Hour

Moth Gives Matt a Ch-earful Holliday

Cubs 1st Half In Review

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:16:00 +0000

We stinks.

Moving on, congrats to Matthew who won our "Who Wants To Win A Crappy T-Shirt" contest by coming closest to the guessing the Cubs' record at the All-Star Break. Just go to the BLT store, pick out any t-shirt, email me your choice, size and shipping info, and we'll get that out for you right away so you'll have it in time for ~~the playoffs~~ , ~~football season~~, next year. Also, thanks to Matthew and all the others who entered for contributing as much to the blog as I have in the first half...

Cubs Season Preview: Welcome to #Optimismdale

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 13:06:00 +0000

If you don't look for anything good to come out of this upcoming Cubs season, you may want to read this season preview instead. But for those of you who expect great things out of the 2011 Cubs, you've come to the right place.

Led by everyone's offseason pick for manager, Mike Quade, the Cubs look to bounce back in 2011 to once again become one of the NL's elite teams. Let's take a look at the 2011 NL Champion Chicago Cubs roster.

Catchers:

Geovany Soto and Koyie Hill - After a disappointing 2009 season, Soto bounced back strong in 2010. This season, the Cubs will be looking for him to produce even more RBIs as he is moved into the 5-6 hole in the lineup, interchanging with Carlos Pena. Koyie Hill returns as a stout defensive backup.

First Base:

Carlos Pena replaces Derrek Lee at first base this year, and finally provides the left-handed power threat that Jim Hendry has been searching for. While he may lack some with the glove and batting average, he more than makes up for in likeability.

Second Base:

Blake DeWitt, Darwin Barney, Jeff Baker - You have to give credit where credit is due, and Jim Hendry did a heckuva job in acquiring gritty middle infielders. DeWitt returns and will split time with Barney against RHP's, while Jeff Baker will continue to tear up LHP.

Shortstop

Starlin Castro - Starlin Castro returns for his second season and the sky's the limit for this kid. Castro, who hit .300 in his rookie campaign, is already being compared to Hanley Ramirez. While some may point out that he could use some improvement defensively, Castro has already shown his willingness to work at his game and is expected to make big strides in the field.

Third Base:

Aramis Ramirez - Ramirez is looking to bounce back after a disappointing season that saw him hitting .150 through May. With a renewed passion and a willingness to work with Rudy Jaramillo this year, not to mention a mutual option that could make Ramirez a free agent in 2012, there's no reason to think that Ramirez isn't going to have a monster season this year.

Outfield:

Alfonso Soriano, Marlon Byrd, Kosuke Fukudome, Tyler Colvin - You really can't go wrong here if you're Mike Quade, what a great problem to have. You have four All-Star caliber players and only three spots for them, most managers would kill to be in that situation. Soriano's leg is healthy and we're looking at a possibility of 30 HRs and 85 RBI out of the 7th spot in the lineup. Marlon Byrd is a fan favorite and last year's only All-Star representative. In RF, Quade has the luxury of choosing between Fukudome's OBP or Colvin's power.

Starting Pitchers:

Ryan Dempster, Carlos Zambrano, Matt Garza, Randy Wells, Andrew Cashner - This could quite possibly be one of the best rotations in all of baseball. With the potential of three 20-game winners in Dempster, Zambrano and Garza, this band of aces is poised to make a deep run in October. Wells has bounced back nicely this spring after a rough 2010, and Andrew Cashner beat out some stiff competition to secure the 5th starter role.

Bullpen:

John Grabow, Jeff Samardzija, James Russell, Kerry Wood, Carlos Marmol, Marcos Mateo, Sean Marshall - I expect great things from this group this season. Let's start with the obvious. John Grabow is finally healthy and is ready to retake his place as one of baseball's elite LH relievers. Sean Marshall has also quietly become one of baseball's finest LH set up men, and along with James Russell, this trio should make division opponents like Prince Fielder and Joey Votto non-factors. Kerry Wood rejoins the team and will be the 8th inning set-up man. Marmol will once again close and do so effortlessly. With Samardzija and Mateo working innings 5-7, Mike Quade shouldn't have any issues with his pen.

3 keys to winning the division:

1. Don't try and do too much. Play your game and everything will take care of itself.
2. Have fun. With a team filled with so much talent, don't forget to enjoy your victories along the way.
3. Be safe. No sense pushing yourselves, we'll need you more in October. If you feel a tweak or a pull, please shut it down. There are 25 men on this team that are more than capable of stepping up.

Cubs Season Preview: Welcome to #Negativityville

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 13:05:00 +0000

Great news everybody! As of today, there are only 162 games left before this miserable experience known as the 2011 Cubs season is over. Year Two begins with your new skipper, Mike Quade taking over the helm full-time since last year's manager walked out midseason leaving the rest of us to be covered in dog shit while he came away with clean shoes. But you know the old adage in baseball, if your team fucking blows then hire good ol' Mike Quade and he'll turn it around in no time. I'm just kidding, only a fucking idiot would think that. Speaking of, let's look at what Jim Hendry assembled, shall we? (Editor's note - For convenience, please assume that every player listed below has either a full or partial no-trade clause. Also, if your glass is a little more half-full, you may want to read this season preview instead).

Catchers:

Geovany Soto & Koyie Hill - Combined, our catchers have 16 fingers but that doesn't stop them from rolling the fatties now, does it? One can't hit for shit and the other one at least waits until there are RISP to suck. But if those bases are empty, brother...look out gappers!

First Base:

Carlos Pena - Carlos hit .198 last year. Basically, that makes him Derrek Lee but without the glove. Jim Hendry is paying him $10 million dollars this year to hit below .200 for the Cubs. But hey, he'll probably hit around 30 HRs so that makes it all right.

Second Base:

Blake DeWitt, Darwin Barney and Jeff Baker - Admit it, you just peed down your leg a little bit in excitement reading those names. I apologize to all the fans at Wrigley this summer who sit near me and won't be able to see anything due to the glare off my golden erection glistening in the afternoon sun over our 2nd base options. Also, what do we think of calling Darwin Barney "Purple Evolution?" Is that a go or is it too forced?

Shortstop:

Starlin Castro - As fine of a shortstop you will find unless somebody hits the ball to him. Then you can find 23 better options around the league.

Third Base:

Aramis Ramirez - As Aramis goes, so go the Cubs. Unfortunately that probably means they won't play defense and they'll play with Cocks. Quade had to ask Ramirez during Spring Training to be more of a leader. If you have to ask somebody to lead, that's probably not the sign of a good leader.

Outfield:

Alfonso Soriano, Marlon Byrd, Kosuke Fukudome, Tyler Colvin - Yikes! Let those four names sink in for a minute. How many games do you think there will be this season where this group combines for at least 3 strikeouts? You could set the total at 160 and I'd probably take the over. Luckily, we'll be rid of Soriano's and Fuk's contracts by the year 2037.

Starting Pitchers:

Ryan Dempster, Carlos Zambrano, Matt Garza, Randy Wells, Andrew Cashner - It's really got to be a weird feeling to be living the dream of playing major league baseball, getting to walk to the mound every fifth day to toe the rubber at beautiful Wrigley Field, and then looking at what's behind you to supposedly play defense and trying to fight the urge to blow your brains out. We'll get to see if all five of these guys are mentally tough enough to resist killing themselves or any person who plays on the left side of the field. Randy Wells sucked last year, huh? Couldn't have seen that one coming.

Bullpen:

John Grabow, Jeff Samardzija, James Russell, Kerry Wood, Carlos Marmol, Marcos Mateo, Sean Marshall - This group...this group should be fun. Let's look at the breakdown:

Grabow = Huge Turd
Samardzija = Untradeable Turd
Russell = Lefty Turd
Wood = Can he pitch every day?
Marmol = I likey
Mateo = Future All Turd
Marshall = I likey but has Turd potential

You really can't get that kind of analysis anywhere else.

3 keys to Cubs winning the division:

1. Every single player on this team has a career year
2. Every team in NL Central quits...before August 1st so there's still time to catch them.
3. Fire Jim Hendry, blow up the roster and start over. Couldn't be worse...

Opening Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Opening Day is upon us again. Whether you're living in Optimismdale or Negativityville this season, no matter, Opening Day is a time to celebrate the magic known as bunting. Not the Brett Butler kind of bunting, I'm talking about the mystical red, white, and blue that will hang throughout every ballpark across North America for the next week and a half. The bunting is back, baby! I have expressed my love of bunting in the past and my ideas on how to incorporate it more into every day life. At the risk of pulling a Rick Reilly and rehashing an old article, I'll rein it in right here. Enjoy the bunting today, and of course, some baseball.

BLT Contest: Who Wants To Win A Crappy T-Shirt?

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 14:17:00 +0000

Aaaannnnd...we're back. After a long winter hiatus, BLT is back ~~and better than ever.~~ The Year One fiasco is over and we're ready for whatever Year Two has to offer. I'm feeling pretty good today as I currently reside in #Optimismdale, so what the hell, let's give away some shit. All you have to do is predict the Cubs win total by the All-Star break. That's it. The person closest to the correct win total will win a fabulous T-shirt out of our even more fabulous BLT store. Everyone is eligible**, which probably means either Clock, Puma or Splitter will get a shirt off me, but who cares? You may enter once per Google account in the comments below. Winner will be contacted on July 12th (All-Star game) to claim his/her prize. All entries must be in by April 30th. Good luck and go Cubs!

**This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final. This supersedes all previous notices.

Epic Fail

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 16:58:00 +0000

Courtesy of ESPN Chicago:

Only one end zone will be used for offense Saturday at Wrigley Field for the Illinois-Northwestern game because of safety concerns, the Big Ten announced Friday.

The east end zone is just feet away from the right-field wall, and although there is padding, there still were concerns that players could be injured there.

Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald had said this week that he would have different game plans for each end zone to avoid the possibility of injury.

When a team is on offense Saturday, it will be positioned to head to the west end zone.
Allow me to comment for a moment. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mike Quade: Hoo-Frickin'-Ray!

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 16:31:00 +0000

In a move that's sure to upstage the NLCS, the Cubs have officially named Mike Quade as their new manager. Quade signed a 2-year deal along with the first ever no-trade clause for a manager.

GM Jim Hendry must've been reeling when he discovered he lost out on the great Eric Wedge. But the sly Hendry knew he had to act fast with Quade, he knew with great certainty that if he waited for Joe Girardi to become available somebody else would have hired Quade right from under him.

No word yet if Ryne Sandberg will be a part of the staff. I like Ryno and I admit that I was pulling for him to get the job. I think now I would like him even more if he was offered a spot as bench coach and he told the Cubs to get fucked.

Jim Hendry's Book Set For Release

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 15:33:00 +0000

According to Bruce Levine of ESPN Chicago, Jim Hendry was the butt of a little joke in Milwaukee:

The Milwaukee Brewers are investigating the origin of a fake news release critical of Chicago Cubs general manager Jim Hendry that was distributed in the Miller Park press box.

The release touts a fake book by Hendry, "How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League." It was included in the press notes for the Cubs and Brewers game Friday night and was quickly removed once the prank was discovered.

Brewers spokesman Tyler Barnes said the team was not yet able to identify the author of the fake release. A picture of the release was posted in a Chicago Tribune tweet.

The release lists chapters such as, "Why I signed Milton Bradley!" and "Why I released Casey McGehee only to see him hit 20 home runs and drive in nearly 100 runs for a division rival!"

Well played, Milwaukee...well played. Although the release was quickly removed once the prank was discovered, it still took the members of the press box until the 8th inning to realize it wasn't legit. In fact, I'm still not convinced that the book was never written...

picture of memo courtesy of Paul Sullivan's twitter

How Can You Tell When The Season Is A Total Failure?

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 21:33:00 +0000

When this happens...

Those of you that are as upset as I am can blame Clock, who was in attendance that day and never fired a single round into the crowd to try and stop it.

H/T to clubhousecancer.com for the video

Maybe They're Struggling Because In The Last Seven Games...They've Played Eight Games?

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:46:00 +0000

I was watching the worldwide leader this morning as they broke down the struggling Cardinals, when they showed this on the screen:

No matter how badly they butchered that, the important thing to take from this is that the Cardinals suck.

Under Armour May Want To Get Themselves A New Poster Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 16:39:00 +0000

There's a Sports Authority within a mile from my work that I like to frequent on my lunch hour. Ever since Opening Day last season, they've had this Under Armour advertisement in the window...

Yes, that's the great Jeff Samardzija pimping for Under Armour. Apparently, the "Under" is short for Underachieving...

Can You Pick Your New Manager Out Of A Lineup?

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 15:16:00 +0000

The Mike Quade era officially begins tonight (throws up in mouth). It is now painfully obvious that Jim Hendry hates us as much as we hate him. You have to admire Hendry on this one, this was the one card he could've played to piss off the rest of his remaining fan base and the motherfucker didn't even hesitate to use it. Well played, Jimbo. Look at the bright side though, it's an immediate upgrade in the third base coaching box. But what do we know about Mike Quade other than the fact I hated him at third? Can you even pick him out of a lineup?

or

or

or

The correct answer is D, although I'd be happier if A, B, or C were named interim manager...

DLee to ATL

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 21:48:00 +0000

It's official, Derrek Lee has been traded to Atlanta. The Cubs get RHPs Robinson Lopez and Tyrelle Harris as well as LHP Jeffrey Lorick in return. Lee will still be at Wrigley this weekend as the Braves come to town for a 3-game set starting on Friday. Please contact Andy at Desipio or Bad Kermit at Hire Jim Essian to inquire about how big of an ovation is allowed and what is not considered acceptable behavior...

Cubs Are So Bad That Even DLee Now Wants Off?

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:47:00 +0000

From mlbtraderumors.com:

The Braves are close to trading for Derrek Lee, according to David Kaplan of CSNChicago.com. Lee, who vetoed a deal to the Angels last month, must approve any trade the Cubs propose. Sources close to Lee told Kaplan that the first baseman would likely approve a deal to Atlanta. Kaplan's sources say the trade would be a salary dump and is near completion.
The Cubs owe Lee $3.4MM between now and the end of the season, when he hits free agency. The 34-year-old has a .251/.335/.416 line in 475 plate appearances and projects to be a Type B free agent this offseason.

Kaplan's sources say the trade would be a salary dump? No. Fucking. Shit. If Kaplan's sources didn't explain that, I might have thought that this was the deal that was finally going to put us over the top in 2010 and begin our amazing run towards the playoffs...

Once Again, For Clarification, Derrek Lee Prefers This To Actually Winning Games

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 13:42:00 +0000

Honestly, there's not much more to say. This team is dangerously close to becoming one of the least liked Cubs teams of all-time. They've now dropped 6 in a row, 2 of those by at least 15 runs. Damage can be seen below:

click on boxscore to enhance

Braun and Fielder went a combined 10-14 with 7 RBI in the middle of the lineup. Our dynamic duo? Not so much. But hey, look at the bright side...the Brewers left 33 men on base.

Here's something to make you even more miserable. What's worse? The fact that our pitching staff has been torched the last 6 games giving up 6, 8, 17, 6, 8 & 18 or the fact that the Cubs still know that Samardzija isn't an improvement?

Scoreboard picture courtesy of WAIW.com

DLee Not Interested In Playing For A Contender... But We Are! BLT Demands Trade!

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:03:00 +0000

During an impromptu BLT meeting at an undisclosed location last night (bar), the BLT contributors were discussing Derrek Lee and his gutlessness no-trade clause. It is now a near certainty that Lee will finish the year in Chicago and then find out what a first-baseman with declining skills and no desire to win can fetch on the open market.

I can't fathom him wanting to stay. I could understand if this was year 3 or 4 of a 5-year contract. I can understand him not wanting to go to certain teams. But to not even entertain it at all? How can he want to stay, anyone with any sense should want to get out.

And that's when it hit us. DLee might want to stay but there's no reason we have to. So we decided that we were going to demand a trade ourselves. Surely there's a contending team out there that can use our skills free time to blog about their epic journey towards immortality. However, trading us could prove rather difficult considering we're all vested with our 25-2 protection (At least 25 years as a Cubs fan and 2 years with the same blog). So, we began looking into our options.

As of this morning, these are the teams that are realistically in a pennant race:

Yankees

Rays

Red Sox

White Sox

Twins

Rangers

Braves

Phillies

Reds

Cardinals

Padres

Giants

Right off the bat, the Yankees and Red Sox are eliminated. That corner of the market is pretty well covered by countless blogs and ESPN. Also, I don't do meth nor do I sleep with my cousins, so White Sox and Cardinals are out as well. I've rooted for a team led by Dusty Baker once before and let's just say it didn't turn out well. Reds are out. Phillies? Three World Series appearances in three years? I wouldn't know how to handle that...they're out.

That leaves us only half the field with the Rays, Twins, Rangers, Braves, Padres and Giants. We've submitted our list to our GM and we will hopefully hear something soon. Let us know in the comments if you have a preference, we're all in this together...

We Now Bring You The Part Of The Season Where No-Trade Clauses Bite You In The Ass...

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:31:00 +0000

From Tim Dierkes at mlbtraderumors.com in regards to Derrek Lee's no-trade clause:

Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee has full no-trade rights. Reporters have consulted Lee's friends for opinions on whether he'd waive them. ESPN's Jayson Stark tweeted today:

A source who has known Lee for years says it's "highly doubtful" he'd waive his full no-trade to OK any deal at this stage.

That runs counter to what Ken Rosenthal and Jon Paul Morosi of FOX Sports wrote 12 days ago:

Lee has remained noncommittal on the issue of his no-trade clause. But some friends of the Cubs first baseman said this week that they believe he would accept a deal to the right team.

Al Yellon of Bleed Cubbie Blue pointed out to me that Lee remarked a few days after Rosenthal's report, "I would bet that not one of my friends knows who Ken Rosenthal is" (Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune via Twitter).

Here's what we know for sure: first basemen aren't in huge demand, Lee's having a lousy season, and he has a hefty $4.95MM left on his contract.

Here's something else we know. Derrek Lee isn't interested in winning, no wonder he's so happy here...

Piniella Won't Manage Past This Year

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:57:00 +0000

Lou Piniella announced today that he will retire at the end of the season, a month and a half after everyone else already quit.

And with that, the great speculation begins. Who will coach the Cubs next season? Will it be the fan favorite Ryno? Will Brenly come out of the booth? Do the Cubs have any interest in Torre or Girardi? Will Trammell get a shot to manage again? Does anyone care?

If You Own This...Please Kill Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:00:00 +0000

Yes, you are seeing that correctly. That, my friends, is a Cubs visor with fake red clown hair sewn in. I'm not sure what's more offensive here? The fact that somebody actually produces these with Cubs' fans as the target audience, or the fact that the sticker below shows that they cost $10 and there was only one left!

Your 2010 Chicago Cubs: It's A Way Of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:48:00 +0000

Welcome, make yourselves at home. I'll be your guide today as I show you around a place that I like to call Rock Bottom. It's not as cold or as desperate in here as you might imagine. There's no stomach punch, no bottled up anxiety that makes you want to scream and no feeling of dread. It's quite numb here, actually. That's because we make you check your hope at the door. It's much like one of my favorite lines from The Shawshank Redemption when Red tells Andy "Hope? Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It's got no use on the inside. You'd better get used to that idea." There is no hope at Rock Bottom.

This is a comically flawed team from top to bottom. What makes it so comical is that everyone seems to be aware of it except those closest to it. They continue to try and put the fires out with a garden hose while the rest of us already had the sense enough to jump off the roof. Now, after another incident on the South Side, the powers that be in the Cubs organization have yet another chance to make the wrong moves.

Only your 2010 Chicago Cubs could find themselves here. Can you think of another team that could have two of their bigger stars argue in the dugout and it makes that team no more or no less watchable? Do you care what the conclusion is? Does it matter?

Say what you will about Zambrano. He's probably not worth the trouble at this point and he's more and more becoming the house guest that won't leave. There may be some good that comes out of this though. Maybe after this, Derrek Lee will be willing to waive his no-trade clause and leave before Jim Hendry has the opportunity to re-sign him.

We all knew that Z was crazy, it wasn't a surprise. And just because he's crazy doesn't mean you should kowtow to him but it does mean that you should be aware of what certain decisions will do to his psyche. I harshly criticized Piniella's decision to move him to the bullpen earlier this year. Lou made sure everyone was aware that moving him there was not a punishment or a demotion. That is of course until now, when they want to punish him and demote him. Did anyone in Cubs' management ever stop to think that the initial move to the pen would start the process of Z unraveling?

I'm not trying to say that Z's move to the pen is what made his 2010 season up to this point a colossal waste of time, I'm just saying that I don't know. It's possible that the move affected him negatively and it's just as possible that his skills are in decline and the beginning of the end was near. We may never know now, and I think that sucks.

Of course, in typical Jim Hendry fashion, he's screwing this up too. He now has a player he wants to get rid of that he's paying $91 million dollars and his value has never been lower. So what does he want to do? He wants to move him back to the pen to lower his value even further. His one chance to move Zambrano this season is to try and trade him to a contender before the deadline. What contender is going to want to take on that salary when they now know that before Zambrano can even contribute to their team as a starter he'll have to be stretched out again, for the second time in one season? Does Hendry think there is a contender out there that will pick up the rest of Z's contract so they can use him as an 8th inning set-up guy? I'd hope that Hendry would realize what he's doing is counterproductive, but then again, I've already checked hope at the door. And now the Cubs, like Andy Dufresne, must crawl through a river of shit and hope to come clean on the other side. But what are we supposed to do in the meantime? It's a way of life I guess...

The Numbers Behind Geovany Soto's Ass-Clenching With RISP

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 14:01:00 +0000

In yet another email I received from Puma yesterday, he took the time to break down Soto's splits at the plate. Here's what he came up with:

Soto with Nobody On Base: .280/.398/.549 in 100 Plate Appearances = Good

Soto with Runners On: .246/.419/.316 in 75 Plate Appearances = Jason Kendall

Soto with RISP: .133/.381/.133 in 42 Plate Appearances = Atrocious

Here to comment on Soto's inability to hit with RISP is our very own Puma...

"Wow, he has exactly the same # of extra-base hits with runners in scoring position as my DEAD GRANDMOTHER! That’s 4 singles, 4 singles, in 42 RBI opportunities. Zero doubles, zero triples, zero HRs. Also, 12 BBs & 10 Ks so over 50% of his chances end without him putting the ball in play.

If those numbers don’t tell the story of a guy choking under pressure then I don’t know what does. He’s like an overmatched Little Leaguer PRAYING that they walk him."

Pumail Version 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 13:47:00 +0000

Well, the site seems to be up again but I'm sure you only have something like a four-hour window to read this gem. It's once again time for Pumail! For those of you not familiar with Pumail, this is when I post random emails I receive throughout the day from our very own BLT Correspondent, Puma. Today, we welcome the most optimistic of Cubs fans to Negativityville as this team has sucked the hope and will out of yet another lifelong fan.

From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 10:55 AM
To: Jay
Subject:

By the way, I’m willing to join anyone’s I Hate the Cubs group, if anyone wants to start one…

Good God am I tired of them. I try like hell to not watch them or listen on the radio or whatever but even the small bits and pieces I inevitably end up seeing just piss me off to no end. Zambrano laboring, Derrek Lee making errors (remember when people argued for Lee in a Lee v. Pujols debate??!!), Marmol hitting guys (I turned off the Lilly game in the ninth after the balk, I couldn’t deal with the potential pain of a loss there), Theriot’s .675 OPS, etc. etc.

From: Jay
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 10:59 AM
To: Puma
Subject: RE:

Welcome to Negativityville...Population is now 3. Our secret password is "Sam Fuld swallows..."

From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:01 AM
To: Jay
Subject: RE:

That’s fine, Sam Fuld sucks too…

From: Jay
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:05 AM
To: Puma
Subject: RE:

It's not all bad news around here though. John Grabow is back!

From: Puma
Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:20 AM
To: Jay
Subject: RE:

I hate him too. Things I also hate:

Lou taking an hour to walk to the mound to ensure that John Grabow gets a couple of extra warmup pitches before he picks up his can of gasoline

Derrek Lee’s baserunning – Seriously, I don’t take pleasure in hating on Derrek so much because it’s my understanding that he is a truly nice guy, but he is the worst baserunner of all time. He is the anti-Theriot, which reminds me…

Ryan Theriot’s baserunning – Theriot and Lee are both terrible baserunners, but for completely different reasons. Theriot always runs, he’s an idiot who can’t pick his spots. Lee never runs. He gets the worst jumps on singles and almost never scores from second on a single. Even on gappers DLee is standing near second base afraid that Stretch Armstrong is patrolling RF for the Pirates

Ron Santo’s announcing – I love Ron Santo with all my heart and soul, but when the Cubs are bad he just amplifies my already amplified fears. When Lilly gave up the hit to Pierre in the ninth on Sunday Ronnie went on this woe-is-me rant about how now Pierre is just gonna steal second and come around to score and “God, Gosh, Gee Whiz” and all that. When Marmol balked I had to change the station lest I drive off the road…

Chad Tracy’s swing – He swings like a girl

Kosuke’s disappearing act

Dempster & Lilly’s penchant for offering up game changing HRs in the 7th and 8th of otherwise well-pitched ballgames

Randy Wells’ entirely predictable decline

The palpable sense of dread in the ballpark any time the Cubs are playing – It doesn’t look like *anyone* is having fun during Cubs games, it always looks like a root canal for everyone involved (except maybe Soriano). Can we get Kenny Lofton and his crazy 16-step high-fives back on the team?

Geovany Soto’s ass-clenching in big spots – Seriously, look it up. His numbers go completely downhill from Bases Empty, to Runner on 1st, to RISP, to RISP with two outs. He is afraid, and I’m amazed he progressed this far in his career with that mental deficiency

Mike Fontenot’s completely useless roster spot – He’s not starting, he’s not a great pinch hitter, he’s not fast, he’s not a great glove man, and he’s not blessed with great power. Why’s he here?

Xavier Nady’s inability to throw – It’s maddening to me that we have a guy who cannot throw, playing *baseball*

Jim Hendry

Jim Hendry

Jim Hendry

Jim Hendry

Pardon Our Dust

noreply@blogger.com (Jay) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 20:22:00 +0000

Some may have noticed that the site was on the fritz since Saturday and we just got back on our feet today. Apparently, when Network Solutions decides to make a change to your DNS that fucks up your shit and you call them to change it back...they take their sweet fucking time. That being said, we missed covering an exciting weekend of Cubs baseball as they took on the White Sox at Wrigley. Let's recap, shall we?

All Cubs suck except Ted Lilly until further notice.

That was fun. Now, as long as the Evil Overlords at Network Solutions mind their own business, we will continue to cover this sorry-ass team.